Poke's Thoughts on Online Relationships

Awww, wedding picture :) 

This past week a good friend of mine has been going through a rough time. Her husband is currently in the ICU, unable to breathe on his own.  My heart hurts for her, and as always in situations like this, I just feel so helpless. It's hard enough to provide help in a scenario like this, but harder still when you are thousands of miles away.

The thing about this friend is, I've never met her in person. That's right, our friendship has been entirely online. This is not exactly new to me, my husband and I met online almost ten years ago. Some people seem to find it odd that you can develop a deep and meaningful relationship on the internet. Yet, I have before and continue to do so. The things I feel for this friend in distress are just the same as the things I would feel if she lived on my street. So, this got me thinking about online relationships in general.

Image from Chibird

How They Start

I've never actively sought online friendships. They've just happened, just like in real life. When planning my wedding I joined a wedding forum. I became a frequent poster and grew close to other frequent posters. We've since created our own space which is much more private and intimate, and our friendships have grown as a result. Many of us have met in person.

My online friend and I on the way to lunch together! 

How They Work

The best way to make a relationship of any kind last with someone is time. This goes for online and offline. You need to talk, connect, show a real effort to stay in touch and stay involved. Before I moved to the UK, I talked with my friends daily. Now the time differences makes that difficult, but I still manage to log on a couple of times a week. Before we were able to live together, my husband and I talked every single day. Skype is a great way to keep in touch with people and feel closer to them. My husband even paid for an American number so I could call him from anywhere using any phone at no charge to me. It's something I still use to keep in contact with my family. 

Gestures that show you are thinking about your friend/significant other can really help when you're apart. These can be as simple as a sweet picture posted to their Facebook wall

Chibird is a new discovery for me. I love it!! 

To a gift in the mail! Obviously when you're friends with a large community of people, this sort of thing can get expensive. We have exchanges - we use Elfster to draw names out of a virtual hat and exchange gifts. It's a great way to connect with people and learn more about them. 

My gifts for the Halloween exchange we just did. 

So, essentially, you'll want to treat any online relationship or friendship the same way you'd treat it in real life! Simple, right?

Stay Safe

Be internet-smart. You don't want to have to call in these guys! (From Catfish: The TV Show)

This is probably the most important part - stay safe! This is a group of people I have known for years! Don't rush into giving anyone your personal information. Unfortunately, it's all too easy to become someone else online.

Image Credit 

Disclaimer:
This is not a definitive guide to online relationships and friendships or internet safety. It takes more than a few paragraphs on a blog to be fully informed about such things, it's just a little snippet from my own experiences!